Queen of Embarrassment

Being the extraordinarily awkward person that I am, I am bound to have a lot of embarrassing moments in my life. Embarrassing moments are the worst during the moments after they happen, but after a while you become grateful for that moment because it’s a funny anecdote that you can share.

I feel embarrassed like 64% of my day (precise, am I right). It is one of my main emotions. One thing I hate is that my cheeks turn bright red when I’m embarresed because of how pale I am, making me more embarresed because I know my red cheeks will let others know I’m embarrassed.
My most embarrassing moment happened at my state’s fair. I get to go there every Summer with my school. It is always the most fun field trip of the school year mainly because of how much independence you get (I’m sorry that I don’t like teachers watching me like a hawk every second), but also because of the rides. Anyways, my friends and I were all stopping to go the bath room in those gross fair bathrooms, and I went into the stall closest to the wall. Ugh, I’m cringing while reciting this story to you!!! I sat down and started to go to the bath room, minding my own business, thinking about the rides I will go on and all that. I flushed the toilet, pulled my shorts up, looked and realized the door was opened the whole time! My bathroom door was open while I was going, in a crowded bathroom! I was so embarresed! I ran out of the stall and this lady looked at me oddly. I was probably bright red. I washed my hands and got out of there as fast as I could. My friends all thought it was really funny, okay, I admit it, it was, but still! I was highly embarresed!

Another very embarrassing moment for me happened when I was in fourth grade or something. My friend and I were at a park for our soccer party and at this particular park there happened to be a skate park. We did what any rational fourth grader would do, and started sliding on the ramp that was meant for skate boards. We were having so much fun, just sliding away on the skate park when disaster struck! My shorts got caught on this nail while I was sliding, ripping them all over the back! The worst thing is that the nail cut through my underwear too! I’m pretty sure I did what any rational fourth grader would do, and started crying! I basically had no pants! It was another moment in my life that I would be fine forgetting.

Another embarresing moment for me was when I broke my school chrome book. At my school we each have a chrome book. Anyways, I was taking a spelling test and I fineshed so I shut my chrome book at put it away. I went and joined my friends in a game of Risk. Suddenly my teacher asked the whole class who broke a chrome book. I slowly realized that it was my chrome book! I had shut my chrome book on my headphone, cracking the screen! I was so nervous, but it was fine. My teacher realized it was an accident and I wasn’t in trouble or anything. My friends gave me a hard time about it though. It is pretty funny I have to admit.

Along with those, I just have my normal embarresing moments that happen throughout the day, such as tripping, saying something I thought would be funny, but actually wasn’t, my eyebrows, answering a question wrong, the usual.

Embarrassment is a thing I couldn’t live without. What funny stories would I tell people when I first meet them so they like me and think I have a laid back personality?

Stay Gold,

Josie

(Sorry for a short post, I’m once agin tired)

20 Facts About Me

Due to my intense desire to always talk about myself, I am a very candid person. It doesn’t take much to get to know me and I can’t keep a secret about myself for long. I guess I probably come off as somewhat dumb and superficial, I promise I’m not. See, what people don’t know is that I’m like an onion,  because onions have layers and I have layers. I don’t know why I’m contradicting myself right now. I also don’t know what kind of intro this was. I promise that I was going somewhere, but I forgot where so let’s just get into it.

Fact #1: My favorite movie is the Usual Suspects.

Fact #2: My personality type is an ENFP, just like Micheal Scott. (I know, I’m actually proud of that)

Fact #3: I have a Jack Russell named Patch.

Fact #4: I have a hamster named Scout.

Fact #5: I am a vegetarian and I made that choice because I wanted to test myself to see if I could last the whole year. I’m really just seeing how strong my willpower is.

Fact #6: Whenever I’m sad I listen to Paul Anka and dance around my house.

Fact #7: I have a huge celebrity crush on Dave Franco. Come on, who doesn’t?

Fact #8: My favorite foods are Fercassia bread, pizza, zebra cakes, cutie oranges, and tilapia.

Fact #9: My favorite song before Hamilton was Piano Man by Billy Joel.

Fact #10: I’m only putting this on my blog because I saw this thing on Pinterest that was like “Posts to Write When You are Out of Ideas.”

Fact #11: The last movie I watched was Nerve, hence the Dave Franco obsession.

Fact #12: My favorite seasons are Fall, Summer, and Winter. Sorry Spring, you give me allergies and you’re boring.

Fact #13: I have been in over 20 theatre productions and have only been the lead in one (I played an ugly slime monster so yay). I think that shows how talented I am.

Fact #14: My favorite books are The Alchemist and The Catcher in the Rye. I’ve read both twice and I want to read The Alchemist again, but I don’t own it.

Fact #15: I’ve had three cringey YouTube channels. I’m an embarrassment to the Internet.

Fact #16: I’ve lived in three houses all within ten minutes of each other.

Fact #17: My favorite color is periwinkle probably.

Fact #18: My eyes are greenish blue, which annoys me because there is no song about a girl with greenish blue eyes!

Fact #19: I play guitar and piano and also take voice lessons.

Fact #20: I am extremely ticklish.

You probably know some of these facts already, but some may surprise you. Probably not. Well, it was nice talking to you. Bye.

Stay Gold,

Josie

I Hate You, I Love You (Photo Edition)

I have a love/hate relationship with photos. On the one hand, I see people posting all of these artsy photos on Instagram and I’m always thinking to myself, I should take a photo like that. On the other hand, I am the least photogenic person ever. 

Being the true narcissist that I am, I absolutely love being in photos and I always expect them to turn out perfectly, but they never do. I am being serious when I say that I had to throw my first school picture away (I got retakes) because it qualified as something that would be in an R rated horror movie. 

I’m fine in real life, but my photos will not testify to that. The only way I ever look good in a photo is if it’s a snapchat selfie with two filters on it, and even then I have to be wearing a lot of make up to pull that off! Also, I would never send, or put my filter selfies on Instagram because I’d think that everyone would judge me and label me as the “insecure girl who wants everyone to like her and compliment her, so she uses filters.” Even though the people closest to me know this is true, my followers shouldn’t know this. Ok, I know I just told the whole internet this, but who reads my blog posts?

My younger brother is the most photogenic person ever, and then there’s me. This is really not fair because he doesn’t even like to take photos! All of my siblings are actually pretty photogenic. My mom has our school pictures lined up in this frame, and they all look pretty good, that is all, but mine. 

When I manage to take one good natural photo, I freak out! I always show everyone, like “Guys, look at this! Look how good I look, like seriously!” 
The worst is when you’re are staring at yourself in the mirror like a young, female, Gaston and are just thinking, Look at me! My make up is perfect, my hair is perfect, I am just a queen right now! And you decide that this moment must be saved so you pull out your phone to take a selfie and all of a sudden you look horrible!

I have no clue what I ever did to cameras. I do not know why they hate me. Do they dislike my personality? Are they jealous of me? That’s probably it, they’re jealous. (That was a attempt at a joke by the way, I’m way more egotistical than that.)

Cameras, I’m sorry for whatever I did to you, but do you have to be so rude. It’s just so heartbreaking when you try to recreate photos that you thought were really cool and then all of a sudden find yourself looking horrible! I just hope we can find some way to make up so I can look better in photos. 

Stay Gold,

Josie

(P.S. Sorry for another short one today, I have to go to a friends soon.)

The Low Lights of 2016

Let’s be real, 2016 was not that great, for anyone. Whether it was the election or all of the horrible terrorist acts or anything else, 2016 is a year that a lot of us would like to forget. I know that I’m conservative and I’m not complaining that Trump won, in my eyes he was better than Hillary, it’s just how people were so touchy this year about everything. I know that it’s not my place to tell people what they should and should not get offended by, but do people have to get offended by every little thing?

Hey, this is the low lights, I can be rude and pessimistic.

Anyways, without further adu, the worst parts of my 2016!

The first low light I have for you is the talent show. I do not know what I was thinking, okay, I did know what I was thinking. I was thinking that the talent show would go great and my “band” would become famous. Allow me to shed some light on the subject… During the beginning of my seventh grade year I decided to form a band with my friends Skyler and Bell (odd names, right?) which we named The Compass Roses. I played guitar, Bell played the ukulele, and Skyler played the piano. We had the stupid idea to sign up for our school’s end of the year talent show. I have no idea what we were thinking. Our “band” did horrible. Hey! It wasn’t entirely our faults!  The set up people put a mic on Bell and I which meant you couldn’t hear Skyler, who is probably the best singer of all of us. I made a lot of mistakes as did the Bell and Skyler. It sounded it horrible. While walking back to our spot on the bleachers, Skyler and I were sure we heard a little kid shout, “You’re bad!” One of the lowest points in my life.

The second low light of my 2016 (viewer discretion advised) was when I got this weird rash on the spot where my arm bends as well has where my leg bends. It was disgusting and quite itchy! I had to go to the dermatologist which scared me. I still am very childish so I thought the rash meant skin cancer or something. I was so scared. I had to live with the embarrassment of that horrible rash for three or four weeks. People were nice about it though, which is good.

The third low light of my 2016 was when my youngest brother Jimmy got stitches the day before my birthday. I remember this like it was yesterday. The day had been pretty good. I got to hang out with Bell all day and we went to my school’s open house together. We were standing outside in my school’s playground with Eddie and his seventh grade friend when Jimmy stumbles up to me using two kids to assist him walking. I was so shocked. “Are you joking?” I asked. The blood looked fake to me. “Where did you get fake blood?” I asked, scared. Jimmy fell to the ground. “It’s going to be okay… It’s going to be okay…” I didn’t know if I was saying this to myself or Jimmy, it was probably the both of us. I told Jimmy to lie on his back. I knew I saw something somewhere that said that you should have someone lie on their back when they’re bleeding so they don’t lose too much blood. Don’t criticize me if I’m wrong about that, I ain’t no doctor! “Eddie, take off your shirt!” I barked. I thought I could wrap the shirt around the wound, then I thought, Eddie won’t give up his shirt for my brother, I know, I have low expectations. I told Bell to go get my parents, I ordered Eddie’s friend to go get paper towels. My parents came and Jimmy was fine, although, I had to spend like three hours in a hospital room cringing while Jimmy got stitches. I hate blood and stuff. I know, everything has to be about me.

My fourth low light was during the election time when everyone was against Trump. I didn’t like him very much, but he was way better than Hillary. So many people would rant about Trump to me and I would try not to offend them and just say, “Well both of the candidates are bad this year.” Something I could say because it truly was my opinion.It just made me so mad how people were using, “Oh, you’re voting for Trump!” as an insult. I don’t take it as an insult (I might sound like a super arrogant person right now, feel free to punch your computer) I take it as a compliment.

My fifth and final low light is also the subject of Trouble in River City. I’ve cooled off since then. If you want to know what this low light is then read Trouble in River City because I don’t feel like writing it again.

All in all, 2016 was just a negative year. I will not miss it. Boy bye!

Stay Gold,

Josie