A Diary Entry

I really didn’t know what to write today so I decided to just write about my day today… I mean, why not? So, here we go!

Dear Diary,

Today was fine, I guess. I mean, I didn’t have coffee this morning, which is always horrible! I had a headache! And I fell asleep in three of my classes because of this problem.

Anyways, it was my good friend’s birthday today so I gave her reeses peanut butter cups and a pack of trident gum. I also posted a happy birthday thing on my Instagram as well as my Snapchat.

I will not lie, I was a force to be reckoned with this morning. I was sleep deprived and hadn’t got my shot of energy (coffee) this morning. Seriously, my body decided that the only way that I will ever be able to stay awake is if I have coffee in me! I wasn’t even trying to fall asleep! At least not in Math because I was trying to learn so I could understand it, but I kept on drifting off! We weren’t even learning a boring lesson that morning! It was giving me a headache to keep my eyes open because my eyelids were so heavy!

I was probably a bit rude to some of my friends because of my conditions. I was snappy all day, like a chiwauwaa. (what?!?)

Lunch today was bad because my mom didn’t pack me a spoon or a fork and the stuff my school uses to clean their utensils is simply disgusting so I had to give my salad to my friend Kylie! Thankfully my birthday friend brought in ice cream sandwiches so I didn’t starve to death!

After lunch, we were FORCED to go outside by our teachers, probably because they wanted to stay inside and gossip about us! I didn’t want to go outside! It was sort of cold out and I didn’t have a jacket so I had to put my hands in my shirt for warmth!

When we finally got back in it was time for Music class. We have to choose a song to sing as out eighth grade song. I’m pretty sure we’re going to Livin’ on a Prayer by Bon Jovi! At least that’s the one I’m voting for. I love that song! The class period was pretty fun because we got to listen to a lot of songs and just talk.

Next we had Religion, which was as uneventful as usual.

So, after Religion, Bell, Kylie, and Beyonce were standing outside by the lockers just talking about how the project shouldn’t be so rushed, like any group of friends, when a teacher approached them like, “What are you guys doing? Sounds like you’re gossiping?” Then this other teacher heard and got involved, “Is there a problem here?” Um no… and if there were it wasn’t any of your business! They weren’t even gossiping in the first place! Gossiping is spreading false rumors.

Then that teacher took things a step further and had a “chat” with Bell! It is really unfair of the teachers to keep on torturing her. Don’t they know she’s under enough stress already and you are probably not helping! Poor Bell.

After school I had guitar, which went smoothly, except for the fact that my parents forgot what time they had to pick me up and were an HOUR late! I basically spent this time just walking around town, hauling my guitar behind me.

Later tonight, June, Claire, and I went shopping for Polar Plunge costumes. (Polar plunge is where you jump into a freezing lake.) We are going to be synchronized swimmer. We all got cute one piece swimsuits and swim caps that we will glue flowers on for our costumes! It will be so funny!

Finally, I had voice tonight. I’m very excited because I made this elite recital and have to practice my songs for it!

Love,

Josie

So that was a day in my life. Hope you enjoyed!

Stay Gold,

Josie

My Competitive Spirit

I am a very competitive person. It is hard to tell this about me when first meeting me. There are two main things that drive my competitive spirit (there are many other things) Snapchat and Monopoly. 

Snapchat is all about the snap score for me. I am OBSESSED with making my snap score higher than everyone else’s. I will literally scroll through my friends on snapchat and check everyone of their scores, making a mental note of who has a lower score than me, is catching up to me, or is higher than me. Right now my goal is 100,000 and I’m halfway there. My thrill in life is passing up people who have had snapchat longer than me. I have streaks with people I barely even talk to just to build up my score! See with snapchat, you don’t need a lot of friends because it doesn’t count followers like Instagram does. Sometimes I’ll spam my friends or even celebrities who don’t even add me as a friend. I just spam them to improve my score! I know, I am a horrible person, but Snapchat really feeds my competitive side. 

I’m pretty sure that the competiveness that monopoly brings is self explanatory. I become ruthless in monopoly. I have made people quit the game because I become so mean. Also, either I win and be really rude to everyone, or I quit and be really rude to everyone. Last time I played monopoly was before a weekend and I avoided my friends the entire weekend. I wanted them to know that I was mad at them so I would open bomb them on Snapchat and not answer their texts. All of this just because I felt that this game of Monopoly was so important. I almost started crying! Monopoly brings out the worst side of me. 

These aren’t the only things I’m competitive about, but they’re the main things. I’m very competitive whenever someone challenges me. 

Last year we did this mock election with fake parties. I was nominated and I knew that I HAD to win! I was obsolete. My character was named Holly Wood. I was one of those sketchy politicians who broke the law and bribed people for votes all while making people be quiet about my secret plans. (It wasn’t REALLY bribing for votes, we were giving candy to people that said “Vote for Holly Wood.” 

Bell was my VP and we slayed. We made it through the primary election like the queens we are and pretty soon it was time to choose a campaign manager. We knew that we had to get the guy vote so we had two choices for campaign manager in mind, both of them very popular. 

We eventually sided with one, mainly because we thought that they’d be more focused. The other guy still helped with my campaign. Taylor, the girl I was up against (and also my friend) choose the smartest boy in my class, a person who I often compete with. I beat him in the first round so he was very much against me. 

Everything got so tense. It even got to the point where our campaign manager and Taylor’s campaign manager got in a fight with each other. 

Propaganda was being made, speeches were written, everyone was getting ready for Election Day. 

Let me just say, I went up there and gave my speech with such finesse that I just had to win!

You’ll never guess what happen. My class mangaged to get the 1/60 chance of making the result a tie. Now Taylor and I are th co presidents of our class. 

That was actually a really fun unit, but it really brought out my competitive side. 

Arguments also make me competitive. I hate being wrong about something because I usually never am… Just kidding, but still, I’m very smart-aleky. I will pick arguments just for the sake of arguing to make me feel good about myself when I win. 

I’m just going to end this here. Sorry this post was all over the place, hey, so was The Catcher in the Rye, and look where that is! Do I reference that book too much? Of course not, rude of you to judge me! Ok, I’m going to just say bye now. 

Stay Gold,

Josie

Love Advice From Someone who has no Clue what they’re Talking About

Whether you choose to believe it or not, I actually give my friends who have relationships love advice. I don’t know what would make them come to me. You know, some have said that I look a bit like Cupid, so that could be it, but as I said, I’m the love guru. I’ll admit, I’m exaggerating a bit considering the fact that only like five of my friends actually have relationship problems, but I really only have like nine close friends, so…

In situations where I have to use my knowledge (that I’ve taken from Cosmopolitan), I just put on a confident face and talk about solutions to their relationship problems. By the way I talk about this love stuff, you would never realize that I have never been in a relationship. Just by looking at me you wouldn’t believe it. Just kidding!

Personally, I think middle school relationships are stupid. That may be a bit biased coming from a girl who has never been in one, but honestly, what are these middle-schoolers thinking? “Hmm… how can we make the awkward years more awkward??? Hmmm… I know! Awkward relationships!”

Still, if the circumstances are right, I can see middle school relationships actually being somewhat cute. My friends Abby is mainly the one I give advice to. I honestly love hearing about her relationships! I love gossip even more than the teachers at my school!

Anyways, here is some advice for you this Valentines Day!

Tip #1

Don’t be too picky when searching for the right guy. If you set your expectations too high, you will never be able to find someone! Nobody’s perfect, not even your dream guy.

Tip #2

Don’t set your expectations too low. You don’t want to start a relationship with a jerk who will lie to you. Look for someone with at least half of the things on your list.

Tip #3

Act normal around your crush. Don’t try to pretend to be something you aren’t or cooler than you actually are (me). If the guy doesn’t like you for who you are than why would it ever work out between the two of you? (Some sick reasoning right there, am I right?)

Tip #4

Actually talk to him! Don’t just stare at him from afar. You should initiate a conversation. Make it something that’s easy for you to talk about so you feel more calm if you get tongue tied, but also make sure you give him time to talk. Once you get your crush talking, pay attention to him.

Tip #5

Don’t care too much about rejection. So, not every crush turns out the way we want it too. It’s fine. Think of it this way, you basically just dodged a bullet because would you want to date someone who doesn’t like you? (Unless they were Dave Franco. If you have the chance to date Dave Franco, take it!)

So those were some of my tips. I know, how much did I sound like a cheesy teen magazine? Well, hope you meet the one this Valentines Day! ❤

Stay Gold,

Josie

P.S. I’m having trouble coming up with blog post ideas. Please comment if you have any?

My Dream Date, First Kiss, and Guy❤️

If a guy even gets close to this I will be the happiest girl ever!

I am a sucker romance… And money, let’s not forget money.🤑 Just kidding. Anyways, like any romcom obsessed teenage girl, I’ve thought of my first date, first kiss, meetcute, and all of that cheesy love stuff going perfectly. Considering the fact that I’ve never even been complimented by a boy (just kidding, I have, but by none I like) my dates will never happen and if they do, it won’t be for a long time.

Anyways, since it’s almost Valentines Day, I’m going to do some love related posts, despite never being in a relationship in my life! Yay!

My Perfect Date

Let’s start with my perfect date…

We met while I was exploring France. He knew that I haven’t really seen the city. He asked me where I was staying the night before and the next morning he picks me up on a Vespa.

He takes me to a nice pastry shop in France for breakfast. He then shows me all of his favorite places in Paris. We see a mime and get a picture painted of us. Oh, remember, there has to be some music playing in the background as we travel throughout Paris. Some sort of montage I guess. What’s love without a montage?

Anyways, we’d end our perfect day, with a candlelit and moonlit dinner on the top of his apartment building that has the perfect view of the Eiffel Tower. We are eating some delicious French cuisine that he cooked himself. Some French music is playing in the backround. Once we are done eating, he would extend his hand to me and say, “Voulez-vous danser?” with that beautiful French accent of his. Considering the fact that I am a major geek and have searched those words to write on my blog thirteen years ago, I will know that he said, “Would you care to dance?” 

I, of course, say yes, and we dance the night away with the moon shining down on us!

Is that not the most romantic thing ever?

Of course I’m old enough to know that that’s not real romance. That’s like the romance the luckiest few find. That’s like John Legend and Chrissy Tiegen romance. But, let’s be real, are they not the cutest couple? I need a John Legend!

First Kiss

I haven’t had my first kiss yet (Does fantasizing it count?). Believe me, you would know if I had my first kiss because I would come on here, create a blog post titled “First Kiss Fiasco” (Knowing me, it will probably be a fiasco. As much as I would like that blog post to be titled “First Kiss Fantasy” or even better “First Kiss Dave Franco”, it will most certainly be a fiasco) and write like 900 words on  why it was fiasco. Even though I expect it to be a disaster, that doesn’t stop me from envisioning my first kiss to be perfect and romantic.

It would be in high school, maybe even my  first year. We would go to the dance together. Before the dance we brought a candle and a red tablecloth to Culver’s and made a fancy Culver’s dinner. (Thanks for the idea, you know who you are.) We would eat ButterBurgers and have a great time laughing about stupid things and our shared awkwardness. We’d probably not dance very much at the dance because we both suck at dancing. We’d have one slow dance though. And at the end of the slow dance, he’d say some cheesy one liner and kiss me!

It would be so perfect and out friends would all take pictures!

I know, I’m such a romantic!

My Perfect Guy

Like every other teenage girl, I’ve imagined my perfect guy. He would be a bit taller than me, ideally would have brown hair and also blue eyes. He would play the guitar like a regular Shawn Mendes (Not that I would ever date Shawn Mendes… Just a look a like, he’s all yours Bell.) He would have nice eyebrows and a chiseled jawline. He would be healthy, but not so buff that he can rip off his shirt by flexing his arms, I don’t want my perfect guy to rip his shirt everytime he flexes. (That was supposed to be a joke.) He would be hilarious and amazing at romantic gestures. He would have to have a great singing voice and occasionally write me a song. He would have to be patient, but impatient about the same things I am. He wouldn’t be one of those over-protective guys who get jealous easily, despite how jealous I will probably get. He will have a good sense of style and never wear joggers or tank-tops. That’s fine if you’re into that kind of thing, but not for me.

So, if you know anyone like that, tell them that there’s a 14 year old girl who is single and ready to mingle!

Stay Gold,

Josie

Queen of Embarrassment

Being the extraordinarily awkward person that I am, I am bound to have a lot of embarrassing moments in my life. Embarrassing moments are the worst during the moments after they happen, but after a while you become grateful for that moment because it’s a funny anecdote that you can share.

I feel embarrassed like 64% of my day (precise, am I right). It is one of my main emotions. One thing I hate is that my cheeks turn bright red when I’m embarresed because of how pale I am, making me more embarresed because I know my red cheeks will let others know I’m embarrassed.
My most embarrassing moment happened at my state’s fair. I get to go there every Summer with my school. It is always the most fun field trip of the school year mainly because of how much independence you get (I’m sorry that I don’t like teachers watching me like a hawk every second), but also because of the rides. Anyways, my friends and I were all stopping to go the bath room in those gross fair bathrooms, and I went into the stall closest to the wall. Ugh, I’m cringing while reciting this story to you!!! I sat down and started to go to the bath room, minding my own business, thinking about the rides I will go on and all that. I flushed the toilet, pulled my shorts up, looked and realized the door was opened the whole time! My bathroom door was open while I was going, in a crowded bathroom! I was so embarresed! I ran out of the stall and this lady looked at me oddly. I was probably bright red. I washed my hands and got out of there as fast as I could. My friends all thought it was really funny, okay, I admit it, it was, but still! I was highly embarresed!

Another very embarrassing moment for me happened when I was in fourth grade or something. My friend and I were at a park for our soccer party and at this particular park there happened to be a skate park. We did what any rational fourth grader would do, and started sliding on the ramp that was meant for skate boards. We were having so much fun, just sliding away on the skate park when disaster struck! My shorts got caught on this nail while I was sliding, ripping them all over the back! The worst thing is that the nail cut through my underwear too! I’m pretty sure I did what any rational fourth grader would do, and started crying! I basically had no pants! It was another moment in my life that I would be fine forgetting.

Another embarresing moment for me was when I broke my school chrome book. At my school we each have a chrome book. Anyways, I was taking a spelling test and I fineshed so I shut my chrome book at put it away. I went and joined my friends in a game of Risk. Suddenly my teacher asked the whole class who broke a chrome book. I slowly realized that it was my chrome book! I had shut my chrome book on my headphone, cracking the screen! I was so nervous, but it was fine. My teacher realized it was an accident and I wasn’t in trouble or anything. My friends gave me a hard time about it though. It is pretty funny I have to admit.

Along with those, I just have my normal embarresing moments that happen throughout the day, such as tripping, saying something I thought would be funny, but actually wasn’t, my eyebrows, answering a question wrong, the usual.

Embarrassment is a thing I couldn’t live without. What funny stories would I tell people when I first meet them so they like me and think I have a laid back personality?

Stay Gold,

Josie

(Sorry for a short post, I’m once agin tired)

Josie Uncensored

Over the course of my life, I have held many and I mean MANY diaries. I even have a poetry journal from my super awkward personality years. Throughout my life I feel that I have tried out many different personas and I hope that these many diary entries show how different I was throughout my many years filled with awkwardness.
To be completely honest, some of the entries will be altered a small bit, just to change names, but other than that they will be the same. Now without further adu… My diaries😳 (I’m scared)


(My many diaries…)

Teusday February 5, 2013

OMG! In science today we learned what kind of fingerprints we had, here’s what mine looked like.


I had the same prints for my Right hand. We almost have Valintines day. I have high hops and hop (he who shall not be named😉) gets me a special card! 😊 (I actually drew a smiley face, this was my Dork Diaries phase) I really hope he does but he probebly won’t

(Insert super embarrassing picture I drew that I will not show for it is way too embarrassing!!!)

POP! (That was my dream bubble pooping, I know that this will not happen🙁

Well anyway we made Valintine Day mailboxes. There big hearts that we wove. There actually pretty cool!😀 We made the same thing in 1st or 2nd grade.

After school today I had drama. At drama the grossest thing BTW the show I’m in is piretes my name is purple Prelude. Piretes is about piretes in a sing compatishen when a stowaway sneaks on board. When they go to the contest the king gets Laringutis and can’t sing. Then they find out the stowaway is a good singer. He becomes a pirete. Then they meet Mermaids who teach them how to dance. Weird right!😀

Well the gross thing that happend is my nail fell off.

After Drama I had Drama in the Piretes I’m Blue Baritone. (To clarify, I was in two versions of this play at the same time.) We ran through the hole show. Then for dinner I had hotdogs.

(A song I wrote in fourth grade. I actually thought this was good…)

What is in the sky? Why can’t we fly? Sometimes I watch the clouds go by and sometimes I wonder why? Refrain: Why oh why can’t we fly? Why can’t we see the sky? (I mean, what were you thinking young me??? Of course we can see the sky, I think I met to say touch the sky. It just goes on after that for three more verses that I won’t bore you with.)


And now, some poetry I wrote in sixth grade. I’m so strange.

There are witches and pumpkins. There are ghosts and pets. On Halloween there are people as munchkins. Wait do I see people dressed as toilets?

The weirdest thing is, I didn’t even write this on Halloween. I wrote it on Easter. And now, another one…

The footsteps are faint. The color is brown. The walls are covered in paint. Eddie is a clown. What will we do? The time is now. My clothes are new. We all say wow. So lend me your hand. Your head is too small. The beach has sand. You are too tall. I hope you fall. Give me a call. 😏😂

That one was extremely strange. I was just a total weirdo in sixth grade. I’ll admit it.

Now some excerpts from one of my favorite diaries…

(From my school talent show)

The hamster dance went really well. They even started clapping to the rythem. And by “They” I mean the audience. My hamster costume didn’t look like the one I drew (reference to earlier entry). It was more like this.


Me, Lana, and Katie started on stage while the other 5th graders snuck in. Then Me, Lana, and Katie stayed on stage while the 5th graders pulled the rest of our group onstage. My favorite part of the dance is at the end when everybody falls down because the dance takes a lot of energy. The 2nd graders are the last people standing. Then all the second graders fall down except for my sister Adele. She starts doing her own little dance. Then she takes her sunglasses off and looks around. Adele pretends to notice that everyone is down on the floor. Then she just sits down and lays on the ground.

(This was the diary of the summer going into Middle School. The talent show is the last day of school.)

In the end of that last diary I made an acknowledgement section as well as quotes from the New York Times and People Magazines. I even added in a copyright sign. Some of those previously mentioned quotes include… “Hillarously awesome.”-New York Times and “Love this book.”-People Magazine. I was very full of myself before I entered middle school.

There’s a lot more of entries to share, but I tried to do an entry or two per diary. I have more diaries, but I feel as if those are too recent for me to share. (I have about three from 7th grade.) I will conclude this entry with a poem.

Stay Gold,

Josie

The king is bathing in his stew. He loses his left show.                                                         Ka-Blam (That was the sound of this blog ending.)

Trouble in River City

This is a recent and very horrifying event in my life involving all of my friends. The week itself had been very stressful. You could smell the tension in the air. I was just angry with my school. Anyways, we were all walking into science when our teacher/principal told us to head downstairs. We were confused, usually when he does this it means that we will being outside, but you could tell that today was different. 

Our principal sat us against the wall and said to us in a very stern voice, “If you have ever called Mrs. Smith, Smithy, go sit in the cafeteria.” I was very confused. Everyone including last years eighth graders have called her that. June and Beyoncé were sitting next to me and I’ve heard them both say it so I thought to myself, If they go, I’ll go. I’m sure that they were thinking the same thing. 

The usual suspects headed into the cafeteria. I felt bad about not going in there because these people were my friends and I was letting them take the blame for me. 

Inside the gym, where the “innocent kids” had gone, June and I started talking. We started talking about how we were letting people take the punishment for us. “Come on guys! We’re just as guilty as them!” I pleaded to the rest of my friends. I figured that if we had a larger group, we wouldn’t be in as much trouble for lying. Only June came, which was fine, but walking up to our principal was one of the scariest moments in my life. Right before we got to talk to him, he came in and screamed, “If you forgot you’ve called her that, come out.” I mumbled, “That’s what we were about to tell you.” And scurried out. I sat down next to a guy in my class and June. 

Our principal made us all grab our phones and pull up our parent’s contact. Some of my friends had already lost it, but I doubted that he would actually make us call our parents. We said something that everyone had said, even in front of their parents. I think everyone’s parents would be pretty ticked off if we had to call them at work. I didn’t eat any lunch that day, I didnt want to, I just wasn’t hungry. 

I still hadn’t lost it yet, but my anger was about to overflow and turn into tears so I headed upstairs. Most of my friends were already up there. I just wanted to write. I wanted to write down everything that I didn’t like about my life. I felt as depressed and empty as Holden Caulfield. For the first time I was using his pessimistic logic when looking at moments in my life. I had never felt this empty before, I felt like no matter what happened, nothing could get better. I felt like I was in a deep hole that I could never escape. 

My friends and I just sat by the lockers and had a good cry. Teachers would walk past us without even acknowledging us. Only one asked us if we were ok. Finally another teacher told is in a tone less soothing than nail on a chalkboard, that we had to clear out. We moved our tears to the bathroom. We just stood in their, hating life more than we ever had before. We had never experienced so much drama and the funny thing is, the kids weren’t even creating it. I honestly just wanted to slam the cards life had dealt me on the poker table and quit this twisted poker game filled with cheaters and judgemental people who have no clue what you’re going through. 

I’m generally a happy person, but I’m also extremely emotional. Emotions hit me like a bag of bricks so this sadness hit hard and took me a couple of days to recover from. I’m not even fully recovered yet because I absolutely do not want to go back to school. Not after this. How am I expected to feel safe after this?

Stay Gold,

Josie

(Today was also a more serious post, but I had to write it.)